What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
