He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just high enough for therapy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
