yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
