I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
