Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize