I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
