I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
