Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
