operation harelip BJ is a go
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
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