We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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