You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
