I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
