Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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