Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
