there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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