can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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