wat bout pragnant strippers??
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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