I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
