she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
