I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
