The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
