dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
