come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
