That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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