i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
