either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
