O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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