Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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