A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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