dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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