D3 body, D1 cock
Can Purell be used as lube?
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
