sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
