waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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