I just made out with a guy for $7.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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