Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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