I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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