my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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