I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
