Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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