Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
