She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
