It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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