ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
