Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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