my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
