Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
