Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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