If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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