After last night, I could never be a politician.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
