I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
