I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
