I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
