why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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