How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
