dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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