WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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