Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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