Jerry, you need to find god
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my being single is dangerous.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
