oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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