if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
