I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
