But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
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Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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