last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
try to milk me bitch
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