I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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