I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
