How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
