was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He passed out mid-signature
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
