The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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