She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
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It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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