My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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